I'm Judgmental

Allow me to just put it out there. I'm judgmental. Yes, I do the horribly socially unacceptable activity of judging. I mean, I don't spend a great deal of time on it--it happens in passing most of the time. There are times when I focus on being judgmental, but I don't like to broadcast it. 

I judge between right and wrong. I do. Without this ability, I might kill someone who is ruining my day, and murdering someone is wrong. I judge what I will have for lunch. Some days I feel like Mediterranean, sometimes just a sandwich. I judge whether or not a restaurant is a good one for me. I judge whether my workplace is clean and orderly, or whether I work with a bunch of slobs (whoops! there I go!). 

I read there are some with brain injuries who cannot make a decision between a ham sandwich or a turkey sandwich because the judgment center has been damaged. Without judging capabilities, we will be forever indecisive. We will agonize over the blue or the green shirt, tea or coffee, Collies or Shepherds. Here's the solid truth: to prefer one thing over another is not judgmental. It is preference. To see something that is not right and call it that is not judgmental; it may be based on my moral code, my religious beliefs, my personal philosophy, or my understanding of science and technology. It might be mere common sense (which few seem to subscribe to anymore). (Whoops, judging again.) 

People are so fond these days of saying, "Don't judge me!" I get it. We hate to be held in the balance and found wanting. I don't like to be judged unfairly. But therein lies the key: we don't want to be unfairly judged, or judged hypocritically. And I'm amused by those who say, "Don't force your moral beliefs on me." That's what laws do--they enforce a moral code society has agreed upon. We keep changing it up, and we get mad at people who hold on to the old ideas of what's right/wrong, good/bad, acceptable/unacceptable. So you think something is fine while someone else retains the belief a practice or way of thinking is not okay, but there you go, judging them--and, might I say, unfairly and hypocritically. 

I can look at a person who is grossly overweight and think, "Hey, that doesn't look good." I don't consider that body-shaming. It's my perception. I don't shout out, "Hey, you look awful!" That would be rude. But I judge. And guess what? I've been overweight. I consider myself overweight. I look at a morbidly obese person with the knowledge of how awful it can feel being in a body that won't cooperate, no matter how many diets one has tried. I listen to hateful, angry people and think, "I don't want to be like that." Yes, I judge that as unacceptable. I avoid hateful, angry people who insist I think as they think and believe as they do. 

I have strong religious beliefs. I don't force you to believe with me. Because I believe them does not make me judgmental. Because I prefer certain types of people does not make me judgmental. Because I Iike my world doesn't make me judgmental. It makes me human. So let's all hush and go on about our business.