Can I blame it on the culture?
I had lunch with a friend yesterday, and as we talked about the things of which I speak to audiences and the issues that ignite my passions, he remarked that while he agreed wholeheartedly with what I was saying, as a business executive, a "black-and-white-guy," he had to ask himself if what I had to offer was worth paying for. I responded that the black-and-white considerations occur when character fails on the job so spectacularly that it gets a company sued. "The first time your controller gets stupid drunk at a company function and dances on the banquet table while making insulting sexual comments to your female clients, you will suddenly find the kind of training I do and the question I encourage people to address is suddenly very important indeed," I said. That question is: does character matter? And here are more relevant questions: does respect for others keep a company running? Does a workforce that knows its worth, understands each other's personalities, can adjust to meet clients and customers individually, and manages with integrity as a high priority make money or lose it? Do people who know how to act professionally and with a perspective of what is right and wrong and appropriate build a company or tear it down? All it takes is one egregious, uncivil incident to destroy an organization's reputation and send it to the poorhouse with legal costs that could have been avoided if someone in charge had realized that, oh yes, this is a black-and-white issue.
I care about this stuff, and it matters. The way we present ourselves matters, not just in outward appearances, but from the inside, where we make decisions to behave according to moral and ethical principles or not. How we "see" each other and respond to the specifics of personality and expression can make all the difference in the way executives, supervisors, and even the lowliest line workers interact with one another. Morale can be fabulous or it can be crap. Employees can stay for years, engaged and excited, or they can stay for years angry, bored, and sabotaging all success, or they can just leave in droves, costing enormous amounts in hiring and training.
This executive went on in our conversation to tell me of the owners of his company, who routinely get sloshed at functions and encourage the female employees to dress something like the servers at Hooters—and this is a firm that supplies products to corporate offices. "If the guys at the top won't get on board with it," he said, "it will never stick." And while that is certainly true, it's also true that, as with his division, any true leader who cares about this stuff can affect his or her corner of the organization. He leads his team with the utmost civility, encourages them to be the most professional in the company, and teaches his staff to treat customers and coworkers with respect. (I suspect his career in the military has much to do with the way he expresses his values.) He and his staff are highly respected and clearly out ahead of much of the rest of the organization. He obviously considers it a black-and-white thing, even if he doesn't consciously see the immediate value.
I told my husband of my lunch with my executive friend, and how I felt that I am somehow not able to show people that what I've got to say, train, and coach others in can save them dollars and increase their value, their ability to interact intelligently and professionally, and thus create a reputation of quality. I need to find some other work to bring in funds for a while, because I feel like I need to work more to refine and clarify how I position myself. We discussed the economy and how people don't want to spend money on "soft" issues during tough times, but my wise husband commented, "Remember this: part of the reason could be that you are talking about character in a world that doesn't care much about it at all."
Is that true? Maybe. I think lots of people care but think it can't be taught or reinforced or encouraged. I believe it can. I think it's more than just opinion or cultural context or back-in-the-day-when-we-were-taught-differently. I think it can be concrete and verifiable as adding to what makes people live thoughtfully and well, to what makes organizations run beautifully and adds loads to the bottom line. I agree with Neal Mayerson, the director of the VIA Institute on Character, when he says, "The time has come to dedicate a serious scientific effort to map the complex terrain of human character—those aspects of human personality that account for us being our best selves and living our best lives." Read his further comments here at a Discovery blog, and pardon me while I start looking for work to subsidize my passion.
Posted by Etiquette Dog at 11/29/2011 8:17 PM 
Categories: character, behavior
Tags: VIA Institute on Character Neal Mayerson
Categories: character, behavior
Tags: VIA Institute on Character Neal Mayerson
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